Flirty Fridays: I invite you, to get to know me.

This is going up late today. I totally lost my marbles last night and forgot about scheduling it, even though I have these writen up way ahead of time. So in case this is your first Flirty Friday, my friend Suzan and I have decided that Fridays are going to be about our online dating communications. Be prepared for a little snark, a lot of sarcasm and no exposing of identities. Today’s message is all about those people who want to tell you about their favorite topic: Them.

There’s nothing really wrong about this message, if you discount the lack of grammar or sentence structure. The fact that he states that he is a student, and yet cannot form complete sentences worries me. But let’s start at the top and work our way down.

First, he starts with my least favorite greeting whatsoever. "How are you?" has been reduced from a real interest to know how your fellow human being is doing, to a casual comment that makes you appear friendly — without really having to listen. Because no one expects someone to answer truthfully. Honestly? Today I’m not so great, I’m a little stressed, tired and really looking forward to the weekend. But he doesn’t want to know that. He wants a foot in the door, and he thinks he has it. Not so, but I’ll read on.

He thinks I’m a lovely person, and wants to know more about me. Okay, so from about 500 words, he’s evaluated my character and found me worthy of a compliment and a request. I’m not swayed. It’s a compliment, yes, but a generalization. This is probably a message he’s copied and pasted to dozens of girls. There’s nothing to even say he’s read my profile, or has any idea who I am. I’m getting more cynical as this message goes on.

The comment about his age and recent move don’t pase me. I honestly skip those because a) his age is on his profile and b) he’s a student. He probably moves around a bit. I’ll also be honest, if someone is currently a student, I’m probably not interested. There’s a different mindset to being a student and out in the workforce. The schedules are night and day, and what’s improtant to one is not important to the other. Maybe I’m wrong, and he’s working and going to school and is a fantastic person, but that’s a hard stretch for me. I wasn’t very "student" like even when I was in college, and I don’t want to relive that phase of life.

Can I just say that the list of interests makes this person sound as if they are not a native American or English speaker? Who does BBQ? Please, no American Pie references, I don’t think I want to think about meat-on-meat action. The "cock some food" comment might make me want to hurl, and then he tosses in that kissing is also an interest. Well, have fun kissing other people, because I’m not interested. He can wait for my responce until the cows come home, I’ll be off doing other things.