Jodie Griffin: The Lighter Side of Kink

Giveaway Alert!  Elle Wylder is giving away a copy of her book, Saving Grace, Liv Honeywell is giving away a copy of Coming, Ready or Not, you can still win a prize from Tina Donahue, you can still win a book from Cari Quinn, Portia Da Costa still has her boxed set giveaway AND Jennifer Kacey is giving away the first book in her Members Only series. Don’t miss these!

Today’s guest is another of those people I’d never have met without the internet. Jodie Griffin is a fantastic writer–and person–who I just wanna squeeze and squeeze and squeeze. See you at RWA, Jodie!! Thanks for being here today!

My first published book, Forbidden Fantasies, is a story of one woman’s personal revelation about her sexual desires, which she discovered while reading books about erotic romance.  It was billed as a BDSM erotic romance by the publisher, but a few of the reviews slammed it because it was only mildly kinky, and therefore it didn’t “qualify” as BDSM.

Hmmm, really?

I’m one of those people who take issue with the idea that BDSM is all whips and chains and blood play.  Like people themselves, BDSM comes in a wide variety of colors and flavors and sizes and textures. Some people may strictly be into sensation play, with no domination or submission desires. Others may like mild submission – only during the scene—and not be into pain at all.  On the other side, you may have a masochist who loves the pain, needs it to escape, and is a bottom for a top who thrives on giving that pain, but there’s no sexual component to it for them.

It’s all kinky, and it’s all good.  There’s a saying, your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay. I love that, because it’s all about acceptance instead of judgment.   In my books, there are no absolutes about kink, except for consent.  That one is inviolate:  no consent, no play.

I write mostly in the D/s part of the BDSM spectrum, and I try to show real people with real desires and needs. Jessica Meyers is kink-curious. She’s turned on by it in books, and she thinks maybe she will be in real life, too. Because she’s just starting out and working up the nerve to ask her husband to explore this new desire with her, this story has mild kink – light bondage, spanking.   Forbidden Desires includes a man who craves the idea of submission—sometimes. And sometimes, he likes to be on top.  In a sadly funny note, someone told me this book didn’t make any sense because no one is really a switch — you’re either dominant or submissive, not both. Again I say “oh, really?” My switch friends would beg to differ.  Anyway, the kink in Forbidden Desires is still fairly mild, but for this couple, it’s a bit more involved. Same with Forbidden Fires, and it ratchets up again Forbidden Obsessions.

The point I’m trying to make here is that kink is different for everyone. What is edge play for someone may be horrifying for someone else to contemplate, because it’s not something that resonates with them. Whether you like being tied up with scarves or prefer being shackled with metal manacles is between you and your partner(s).  Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not “really” kinky because what you enjoy is mild kink. Remember, your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay.

Jodie Griffin didn’t always want to be a writer. She spent hours reading, but school papers were written one painful word at a time. Then a story idea came, demanding to be put on paper. After years of practice, she took the leap, submitted her first manuscript and hasn’t looked back.  Jodie’s own happily-ever-after includes one incredibly supportive husband and one future heroine.  Visit Jodie at www.jodiegriffin.com.

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